Feeling Anxious for the Holidays? This Could Be Why…
Negative core, or limiting, beliefs typically develop during the formative years of our childhood and adolescence. They are also a result of our environment and interactions with others, particularly with our family of origin.
Even if you had an upbringing you would describe as ‘happy’ and ‘perfect’, you most likely still have limiting beliefs about yourself. Why? For two reasons:
No parent is perfect.
A child views the world around them from an egocentric lens.
For example, if a mother is depressed, a child only understands the situation from their own perspective and are not able to consider greater context.
Even if the mother never yells at or spanks her child, the child may still internalize what is happening in their environment and feel they did something to make their mother sad (“It is all my fault” or “I am to blame”), or feel they are not doing enough to help make their mother feel happy (“I am not enough”).
Even after becoming an adult and moving away from family, spending time with family can bring us right back to feeling like how we did during our upbringing.
In my previous example, that might look like the now-grown child feeling activated when their mother makes a comment about how you haven’t ‘lost the baby weight yet’ (“I am not enough”), or getting upset with you for bringing a food she ‘can’t eat’ (“It is my fault”).
Spending time with our family during the holidays can be lovely and fun.
It can also be stressful and overwhelming.
It is so important to notice what is happening within yourself, and to notice when you need to set a boundary (we will talk more about that later this week), or reach out for support/take time for self-care.
